Monday, January 13, 2014

For Real Moments With Vikster: Twerking Edition

Now that I am a mom, I have something I would like to point out. It's becoming an epidemic and it's only a matter of time until we all are exposed and infected.

I'm talking about twerking y'all.

Thanks to classy bitches like Miley Cyrus twerking is becoming more and more popular. And not everyone can twerk. Not everyone SHOULD twerk. And dont get me started on wall twerks.

Now if your out with your girls at the club, or guys we don't judge here, and you feel the twerge (twerk and urge. You like it? No...ok) to get up and break it down. Maybe you've had a couple to a few too many drinks and the song that's playing is really speaking to your soul (The Lady Gaga can do that to you). Then by all means, work it girl! (Or guy, remember we don't judge) but do it like you would in Vegas meaning what happens in the club, stays in the club. Don't take pictures and post them all over social media sites. And do NOT video that shit.

Wall twerks. Have you seen those? If yoi haven't, YouTube that shit. It is when you get into handstand position and, well, twerk. Do you know how many stupid bitches have been sent to the hospital injured due to a wall twerk gone wrong? Don't try it drunk, don't try it sober. Just don't do it.

The moral of this story is that twerking, whether on the ground or on a wall, whether black, white, pink, or purple, whether male or female needs to be left in the club in the dark where no one will remember you the next morning over their hangover. 

Twerking, just don't do it. What would your grandma say?

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