When to Stop Because We Love You

There is a certain point where no matter how much you love a person, you have to tell them "NO".

I believe that addition is a disease. It's something that even the strongest people need help to overcome.

And getting that help doesn't make you weak or pathetic. It doesn't make you look bad. It shows that you know you have a problem and you are taking the time to go thru the steps to fix it. It says that you want a better life. It says you are ready for a lifestyle change towards the good.

Now I also agree that admitting you have a problem is the first step. But there's a difference between admitting you have a problem because you want to change and admitting you have a problem and not giving a shit about it.

Addiction impacts not just you but the people around you who love you.

I wish that someone could invent a time machine. That way I could go back and slap the shit out of whoever started taking prescription medicine for recreational use instead of for its actual purpose.

The impact it has on the individual is bad enough. Withdrawal including deadly withdrawal, overdosing, lying to you loved ones, using your loved ones, stealing from your loved ones and anyone else that you can, debt, giving yourself a record from robbing or breaking and entering. The list goes on and on. Then you have the family and friends who are out of who knows how much money and can never trust you again no matter how hard they want to.

I don't do drugs. I have more important things to spend my money on. And most of the people i know who do them are always going to. When I ask them why they do it, they answer for fun. I know grown ass people with children who still can't live without their buzz. I know people who know they have a problem and don't care. And I know people in denial. Drugs tear families apart. They make you lie and they make it so that no matter how hard I try, I can't trust you. You can't make someone stop what they are doing wrong if they don't want to stop and if they are lying to themselves about their problem.

I'm just going to end this here before I get even more personal. But this is a very touchy subject to me. I just wish i knew how to help this person before its too late. Every time i try, they deny it but the signs are still there Because I love them so so much and it kills me to see this and know this every day but this person will never know that or how I feel. I just wish i could help. I just wish they wanted help. I need help to help them before I lose them forever to either the justice system or the grim reaper.

If you are reading this, never give up on trying to help someone you know who is using no matter what drug of choice it is. I know I won't but I also don't know how to help.

And if you are a user and your reading this, please get help. Your family and friends love you so much more than you will ever know and want to help and see you get better. And if you are using because you don't have family or friends, then just know that I love you and I would love for you to get clean. If no one else does, I love you and think your life is worth being clean for.

It's ALIVE!

Well i've been gone for a while and here's what's been going on in a short re cap...

I got a new boyfriend
We live together
I got two cats
I also got pregnant
My dog died
And I got a new job (wish i could say where)

I don't have internet at my place sadly and things have just started to settle down for me. I want you guys to know  that I am still here and now will be trying to post more. It will be from my phone so bear with me I would much rather type on an actual keyboard but beggars can't be choosers I guess.

So while I was in the shower today I got to thinking about how my body is changing with this pregnancy. Which, by the way, I will go into more detail about later. I have two friends that are also new moms that I go to for advice. I had some questions about tenderness in certain areas and was trying to figure out which friend to talk to about that. Then it got me thinking, I sort of have a list of who to call for what issue I have, and I'm kind of wondering if anyone else has this mental list. So, without further ado (is that how you spell that...) here's my list of friends designated for certain issues.

Mommy friends-the girls and fellow moms I go to for mommy and personal issues also works for boyfriend complaints

Medical advisers-for when you are too lazy and/or cheap to go to the doctor

Uppity friends-the people who you know will eventually piss you off with something they say but you still talk to them anyway and love them eventho you want to slap the shit out of them

Bitchy friends- the people who bitch more than you eventho you are six months pregnant and they are either spoiled or bring the situation upon themselves. Also friends who need to be slapped (see uppity friends)

Rich friends- always wanting to get you to go out and spend money to hang out eventho this is a recession and well, aint no body got time for that

Want to be rich friends- almost the same as rich friends but these people want you to pay for everything

Work friends- people you only see at work and the occasional facebook post. The common phrase used with these people is "yea we should totally hang out". Spoiler alert, you never will

Childhood friends-the people you can tell anything to no matter what and they still won't judge you. You need these people because face it, your a hot mess and these people know it and still love you like family

First of the month friends- these are the friends that only call when they need money. Usually for something unnecessary that will piss you off. These people think that your just dumb and wont notice that they only call when they need or want something and if you cant deliver they magically disappear like we actually miss them because spoiler alert, we don't

And

Frenemies- you love this person but you also love to hate this person. You envy them sometimes they envy you too but you both just communicate under a thin layer of mutual cattyness and bitch to your poor boyfriend who did nothing to deserve being dragged into this drama all he wants is a peanut butter sandwich and some milk  

Well, that's my list (so far) of friends i have. I wonder if I'm the only one with this problem...

I will try to be back and post more. This would be so much easier with a computer but oh well. It does feel good to be back though and get some of what's on my mind out there.

I haven't been sleeping much so maybe this will help. I guess i should try and get some sleep since i do have to work tomorrow. But Lord knows that between my bed hog boyfriend, gymnast baby and obnoxious inconsiderate snoring cats, sleep is a foreign word to me. Almost the way that common sense is in teenagers. That's all for now. Love you guys!